today

It was not a bad day. still, when I get muddy, when it starts going bad in the head, I have this nasty habit of pulling up the drawbridge. It seems a perfectly rational response to a rough situation. I get tired, thinking is cloudy and confused. I am disoriented and cannot think things through. So, I get defensive, and though I worked with my client today, it was the only human conversation I had. Its lonely too.

The current approach is breaking that pattern. Getting out there means overcoming the physical call to rest and hide. This I have already been practicing with. but also believing that I can be of interest and value to others then, and that they can be of comfort to me. Well see how that goes. We have gotten tot he stage of accepting the illness and working with it, while we work through it. I think thats big. Its still hard, but it results in less self abuse.

Ok, another installment of TMI concluded. Thanks for all your continued support.