Waiting for it to drop
12 pm and all is still well...
-----------------------------
update: got a lab result back- fasting insulin 11.5. Thats well within the range (<20), but I don't like it. That seems high. Ill bring that up with Dr. W.
------------------------------
2:15 and all is well....starting to feel it, but really minorly. Usually by 4 we have a flat tire. Lets see.
------------------------------
4:16 All is wellish
-------------------------------
4:30
And we have lift off. Though not what I expected. Still, this has the potential to be even MORE fascinating.
-------------------------------
Ok, it seems to have crested. About 7pm I got some space.
Interesting. So, the study observed the effects of heavy physical stress on symptoms. I hypothesized that I would suffer from seeming blood sugar irregularities (confused thinking, blurred vision, argumentative, irritable, paranoid, negative, slurred speech, etc) and some general blueness. I was a bit wrong.
I surfed OB on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was well twice overhead Sunday a foot or so overhead. The winds were blowing out, which NEVER happens in SF and the water was warmed by over 80 degree air. So perfect conditions. Day one, I surfed 3 hours, which is my personal limit. Within that time, I tried to go easy on myself- not paddling for every wave, taking breaks, resting. This is because I have a much lowered stress threshold- which I am trying to honor. Still, there was a rip and all of us spent the full 3 hours paddling north to stay close to one spot. Still, I got pulled down nearly a half mile.
I was really tired and respected that. I meditated on the beach and then just sunned myself. I then drove to Mt. Tamalpais to watch the sun set. I did hike, but only a couple hundred meters. Then I sat in the golden grasses and watch the sky fade out. I slept, but as always after a taxing physical day like that, lightly.
The next day, the surf was still kicking. I was going to go reeeeeeaally easy, but I was absolutely killing it. I still held back, but when God wants you to rip, you rip. Another hike to watch the sun set. Another good meal. Another active day of trying to mitigate damage with active relaxation.
Monday- wound up. Expecting Tuesday we would see symptoms.
What did we see?
interesting.
I have noticed this before: long stresses lead to increased symptoms. The narrative voice in my head become increasingly more negative and insistent. When I am completely wellish- its almost silent, and positive. When I was sick and after stresses, I can hardly stop them. I am irritable, indecisive, angry, depressed, critical, defensive, selfish, etc...
You have no idea how much better this has become. A flight of stairs used to put me out of commission for a day. Now, it takes a lot more. A lot. Still, I remember after the bar, after 5 weeks of really stressful studying, having my stuff arrive, doing full lit projects while trying to study, negotiating a really stressful Partner, and engaging in a new relationship, I was fried. F-R-I-E-D. It took me several weeks to get back to normal. I remember my ears ringing so loud during that time and I could not get out of my depression. But I digress.
Today, there was no low blood sugar. There was the speedy negative voice and inability to calm. Irritable, but then, at 4, a profound depression. No, wait, a despair. Deep and heavy. Me drafting Rule 11 motions and crying in my office and feeling painfully lonely and pointless. Then, it broke at 7:30. Peaked. Not as bad as last week, but I am seeing a correlation. I already took the gym off yesterday and turned down water polo tonight. I had planned that on Saturday, knowing I need to recover. Cool to see the bounce back so fast.
* caveat. I dont know that its a "voice" but more of your internal monologue being really demanding and negative. I think everyone gets like this when thier energy is misdirected. Its not like it sounds like someone else or tells me to do weird things people. Stop watching so much TV. Still, its a symptom because my internal monologue when I am well adn rested is positive and supportive, or quiet.
-----------------------------
update: got a lab result back- fasting insulin 11.5. Thats well within the range (<20), but I don't like it. That seems high. Ill bring that up with Dr. W.
------------------------------
2:15 and all is well....starting to feel it, but really minorly. Usually by 4 we have a flat tire. Lets see.
------------------------------
4:16 All is wellish
-------------------------------
4:30
And we have lift off. Though not what I expected. Still, this has the potential to be even MORE fascinating.
-------------------------------
Ok, it seems to have crested. About 7pm I got some space.
Interesting. So, the study observed the effects of heavy physical stress on symptoms. I hypothesized that I would suffer from seeming blood sugar irregularities (confused thinking, blurred vision, argumentative, irritable, paranoid, negative, slurred speech, etc) and some general blueness. I was a bit wrong.
I surfed OB on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was well twice overhead Sunday a foot or so overhead. The winds were blowing out, which NEVER happens in SF and the water was warmed by over 80 degree air. So perfect conditions. Day one, I surfed 3 hours, which is my personal limit. Within that time, I tried to go easy on myself- not paddling for every wave, taking breaks, resting. This is because I have a much lowered stress threshold- which I am trying to honor. Still, there was a rip and all of us spent the full 3 hours paddling north to stay close to one spot. Still, I got pulled down nearly a half mile.
I was really tired and respected that. I meditated on the beach and then just sunned myself. I then drove to Mt. Tamalpais to watch the sun set. I did hike, but only a couple hundred meters. Then I sat in the golden grasses and watch the sky fade out. I slept, but as always after a taxing physical day like that, lightly.
The next day, the surf was still kicking. I was going to go reeeeeeaally easy, but I was absolutely killing it. I still held back, but when God wants you to rip, you rip. Another hike to watch the sun set. Another good meal. Another active day of trying to mitigate damage with active relaxation.
Monday- wound up. Expecting Tuesday we would see symptoms.
What did we see?
interesting.
I have noticed this before: long stresses lead to increased symptoms. The narrative voice in my head become increasingly more negative and insistent. When I am completely wellish- its almost silent, and positive. When I was sick and after stresses, I can hardly stop them. I am irritable, indecisive, angry, depressed, critical, defensive, selfish, etc...
You have no idea how much better this has become. A flight of stairs used to put me out of commission for a day. Now, it takes a lot more. A lot. Still, I remember after the bar, after 5 weeks of really stressful studying, having my stuff arrive, doing full lit projects while trying to study, negotiating a really stressful Partner, and engaging in a new relationship, I was fried. F-R-I-E-D. It took me several weeks to get back to normal. I remember my ears ringing so loud during that time and I could not get out of my depression. But I digress.
Today, there was no low blood sugar. There was the speedy negative voice and inability to calm. Irritable, but then, at 4, a profound depression. No, wait, a despair. Deep and heavy. Me drafting Rule 11 motions and crying in my office and feeling painfully lonely and pointless. Then, it broke at 7:30. Peaked. Not as bad as last week, but I am seeing a correlation. I already took the gym off yesterday and turned down water polo tonight. I had planned that on Saturday, knowing I need to recover. Cool to see the bounce back so fast.
* caveat. I dont know that its a "voice" but more of your internal monologue being really demanding and negative. I think everyone gets like this when thier energy is misdirected. Its not like it sounds like someone else or tells me to do weird things people. Stop watching so much TV. Still, its a symptom because my internal monologue when I am well adn rested is positive and supportive, or quiet.
posted by warnerk | 12:08 PM
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