MTP Blues

Yick,

Ok, so the MTP experiment goes forward, me taking it now two days ina row form the prviously staggered, every other day. And, predicatably, [Ed note: why is it predicatable for a 31 year old man to feel like *ss?], I feel weird. Fuzzy, headachey. Like a flu is coming on. This is the heavey metals being discharged, I am told, or, if you are to believe modern allopathic health care, I am completely crazy, imagining this becuase I hate my parents, and only prozac will save me. Thanks Doc.

So, I have a post in mind, but it takes more time. I want to talk about diagnosis, and how they can set you free and condemn you and what they mean. I want to hear your thoughts...seriously, have you been diagnosed OCD, ADHD, SZ, Alseihimers, MS? Do any of those things mean anything? Are they alll related...of course they are.
Seriously, C, N, E, Z, all you all you read this, give me a shout. be angry, be loud, be wrong, but be counted. What did your diagnosis mean to you?

Exciting new test for Sz?

This is a potentially very exciting artocle for those of you who follow this blog for personal reasons. That is, the dark finger of mental illness is motioning come hither.

http://www.cantonrep.com/index.php?ID=300246&Category=8

"Within two years, a Kentucky medical genetics company plans to market a home
test designed to help consumers determine whether they are genetically
susceptible to schizophrenia. The test, performed at home and analyzed in a lab,
is the culmination of 10 years of research --"

The article discusses the looming availability of a home test for mental illness. The Canton newspaper reporter did not wriet about the focus of the gentic components on which the test will focus, but this could mean a screening for childeren's suscptibility:

In a soon-to-be published study, Jehannine C. Austin, a neurochemist and
genetic researcher at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, surveyed
family members of patients with psychiatric illness. A quarter chose not to
have children, she said, based on an overestimated risk that they would have a
child with a disorder. According to the SureGene Web site, ``Schizophrenia
does not present until the second or third decade of life,'' and siblings of
schizophrenics are, on average, 10 times more likely to develop the disease than
the general population.``Naturally, parents with one affected child are concerned about the health of their other children. Further, even though siblings may not themselves develop the disease, their children and grandchildren are at increased risk. Such siblings are in need of valid genetic risk assessment for family planning purposes,'' the Web site points out.

and, perhaps more importnatly, gene therapy for people with mental illness.

I am not a big believer in "correcting" mother natures mistakes. but when the crush of illness visited me, I do what all animals do: I try to survive. Gloves off, philosophy aside, its time to fight to live.

Let me know what you think.

MTP second time/OCD

I am tkaing the MTP every other day. The first day was rough, made me feel numb, but my skin would buzz a bit. I got neaseaous [how many vowels could be in that word. I know that is not right, but it is kind of how I felt. sort of "aaoeeeooaueaaa"].

This is the second day with the stuff in my system. So far so good. I am getting weird blood sugar irregularites, but that might be becuase I am eating eggs during the day and not almonds. Recently, the almonds have left me feeling terrible.

So, I wanted to try a little experiment. The PTC says that histideliacs are prone to OCD, but histapenia shows up as obsessions wihtout compulsions. I turn this to you: What is the difference? If you follow this blog, and have input, I would love to hear from you on this one.

Notes from the other side

This is a snippet from a correspondence with X, who recently found out that he is going to be treate, by the PTC, as a histadelic. Histadelia, for those of you new to this blog, is characterized by high histamine levels, over 70 in whole blood histamine tests, and low methylation. In short, the Mythyl folate ration is skewed toward methyl groups.

Individuals with high-histamine levels may be due to a metabolic imbalance that
results from under-methylation.... For some individuals, high levels of blood
histamine (called histadelia) have psychological, behavioral, and cognitive
symptoms.

Many patients with obsessive-compulsive tendencies,
"oppositional-defiant disorder," or seasonal depression are under-methylated,
which is associated with low serotonin levels. Often with inhalant
allergies, frequent headaches, perfectionism, competitiveness and other
distinctive symptoms and traits. Tend to be very low in calcium, magnesium,
methionine, and vitamin B-6 with excessive levels of folic acid. People with
histadelics have a positive effect from SSRIs and other serotonin-enhancing
medications (Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.) because methylation
is a step in the manufacture of mood stabilizing neurotransmitters.
Unfortunately, histadelics often have nasty side effects with these medications.

Histamine excess can be manifest as asthma, vasomotor rhinitis,
allergic skin disorders with pruritis, excess stomach acid production (acts as a
gastric hormone to stimulate flow of HCl), saliva, tears, and thin nasal and
bronchial secretions, and certain types of vascular headaches. This is the
basis of anti-histamine medications. Excessive histamine results because of the
inadequate methylation in liver detoxification. Histamine opposes
adrenalin in its effects and as expected fatigue occurs just as it occurs in
adrenal exhaustion.

Biochemical treatment revolves around
antifolates, especially calcium and methionine. Certain forms of buffered
vitamin C can help by providing calcium and ascorbic acid. Three to six
months of nutrient therapy are usually needed to correct this chemical
imbalance. As in most biochemical therapies, the symptoms usually return if
treatment is stopped.

Methylation is involved in DNA synthesis,
masking and unmasking of DNA, detoxification, heavy mental detoxification, nerve
myelination, carnitine and coenzyme Q 10 synthesis. The relationship of
mood and behavior to Histadelia is due to the fact that methylation is involved
in neurotransmitter synthesis.http://www.drkaslow.com/html/histadelia.html

So that is what the web says, but the pointof this blog is letting you know what it feels like on the inside. X wrote to me and I thought I would share this with you histadelics out there because it gives some insight, and because it appears the guy aniled right on what was happening inside him. Amazing what brains and motivation can do:

"After gathering my thoughts for a few days...here is how I interpret my situation. I have been actively histadelic for years. All of the signs were there during my high school years (dating back ten years). With histadelia though, some of the 'symptoms' seem to almost work to our advantage. I mean the competitiveness, hard-driving, high libido life seems normal in a world that relishes those characteristics. I believe though that the body can only handle this amount of NT excessive output for so long until the histamine continues to rise and the symptomology of our disease becomes a burden. Whatever the case, I look forward to improving and, with any luck, resuming some sort of a life.

Adrenal burnout from histadelia could result as excessive adrenaline is pumped into the system to counteract the excessive levels of histamine. I think allergic reactions are brought on by histamine....so when a person is allergic to a bee sting...what actually results is an excessive histamine outpour. This is counteracted by an 'epipen' or whatever. An epipen is basically pure adrenaline, which counteracts the histamine. My body is constantly attempting to produce adrenaline to counteract histamine, perhaps this is where the internal anxiety is derived from. And you want to talk high internal anxiety, it can be completely gripping at time. It is hard to imagine a time in my future where I will once again experience a sense of peace...serenity. "

Well said.

MTP

So last night I first took the prescribed MTP II product. MTP is a metalothione promotor. Mt is a protein in the gut which binds to heavy metals and inproves metal metabolism. The warnings indicate that at first, taking MTP could cuase nausea, assumedly from the purging of excess heavy metals. Well, so far, they are right. About 2 pm I felt a flu like feeling, nausea, flgiht fever, and like my thought was fuzzy. I was extremely tired by 4, and felt really awful. My head swam a bit, not like the old days, but teetered all the same. slightly blurred vision adn defntely brain fog- that is the feeling like connections are really hard to make.

Well, its 7:30 now and it is begginign to pass. I dont know how interested you are, but since i have never seen another description of how it feels to be on MTP, my life is, for you, an open book.

Here is how Mt affects copper balnces in teh body:

Copper functions along with iron in many metabolic processes.

Most plasma copper is bound to ceruloplasmin. Histapeniacs are low in ceruloplasmin, as are people with Wilson's disease. I have Cp levels signifigantly lower than lab limits. Copper also binds to superoxide dismutase, which scavenges for superoxide free radicals and protects against oxidative damage.

Copper is absorbed in the small intestine and carried by the copper-binding transport protein metallothione through the plasma. In the plasma it is bound to amino acids, primarily histidine, and to serum albumin for transport to the liver. In the liver, copper is bound to an alpha-globulin to form ceruloplasmin. It is then delivered to cells that have ceruloplasmin receptors on their surface.

Copper is primarily excreted by bile into the gastrointestinal tract, although some unabsorbed copper is excreted through the feces. Biliary excretion is responsible for the body's balance of copper.

Now, I test iwth normal copper levels in ratio to Zinc, but once you compute for Cp, you will find that I have too much unbound copper, or free copper. Mt is supposed to bind to the Cu, in a non-reactive form, then escort it to the liver, where it can be processed with alpha globulin to make Cp. so, this is the hope, cleaning the extra Cu and creating enough Cp. Wish me luck.

On love and loving

Perhaps not finding the love of your life is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Perhaps finding the love of your life and being powerless to reach out to her/him is. This is precisely the predicament of Szs...How to fall in love when you are in free fall.

This was the subject that I and X found ourselves considering the other day. He has found someone that even through the haze of illness he knows is the right one. Ordinarily the answer is easy- go to her- but for X, all SZs and indeed for me when I was more ill, the answer is not at all clear, and there is a paucity of precedent to refer to. What to do when your instincts and emotions clearly tell you that you are in love, at a time that you are training yourself not to trust them? Can you fairly bring someone into your mess? What can you offer? Must the unbalanced be alone?

The following is a letter from X.

If it doesn't move you, check your pulse- you might just be dead:

"'For Her'

I saw her again last weekend. I left with no question that she is the one. Even through the haze, even through the fog, her beauty elicits feeling. I was walking in front of her, she took me by the hand, she pulled me back, and she kissed me. She feels....She feels for me. I ache to have her. In my world of derealization, she is so
real. Last night, after my mind quit racing, I feel asleep, and I dreamt.....I dreamt of a life with her. I woke up this morning and took my Pfeiffer Primer. I was back to my reality.

The act of sex is purely an animalistic art form. Both desire and ability to perform are derived from places outside the realm of the conscious mind; they are derived from one's soul. SZ completely cloaks one's soul, while still letting you know sadistically that it is still there but no longer at your conscious disposal. As a 24yr. Old guy, to have my sexual function separated from my being is completely demoralizing. To know that I could soon make love to my dream, but I will have to turn her away in shame of my own functioning failures is overwhelmingly painful. I could fake everything else and be with her, but sex, for a guy, cannot be "faked." So SZ, once again, has the upper hand, but then again, was that ever the question?

The only real question is do I address my situation with her? Eventually, if I choose to pursue this, I must. But, will I pursue her? I do not long to be a hindrance to her life, to burden her with my pain, with my failing body, with my disease. She is too good for that. Perhaps, she is another man's dream, a man without my
transgressions. A man that could satisfy her needs and support her emotionally. It is so hard knowing that, somewhere, deep inside my soul, I am also that other man....But for know...I am merely X.

X"

X asked what I thought about the situation. I don't know the answer. I know what I did. The following is my, rather lengthy reply.

"X, I went through this. I went through the illness and I fell in love with the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with while I was still unwell. It was hard X, fucking hard. But it was also like a light filtering through clouds, dazzling and sacred. I am happy for you. I read this letter and I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Recovery took longer than I ever expected. There were many times in those years that I lost faith that it would ever arrive. In the end, I gave up on hope, and just plugged forward. One day though, I realized that I could live with where I was, even if that life would be hard and not full. It made me furious to be cheated of the breadth and brightness of life, but I could, at least, survive what was going on in my head for a lifetime.

Once I realized I would get better, I put everything on hold. I said: "this job I will work until I am well", and "when I am well I will date lots of people", or "when I am well I will visit so and so" and "when I am well I will write" or "when I am well, I will go out more" or "when I am well I will try drinking again". I just needed to hold on until then. Hold it together a little while longer. I pursued a law career. I bought a house. I held onto my job. I maintained friendships even when I felt terrible. I dutifully attended family events. I felt no joy in any of this. I borrowed against nothing, hoping to repay my debts on what I would have tomorrow. I felt paper thin.

I was in a relationship, even then. I did not love her, but I felt like my instincts were all suspect, so I stayed with her in the same way I worked through law school. It felt reasonable to think that I would want that relationship when I got well. She was a very supportive and strong girl, and I was honest with her about my illness. I asked her to leave if it got too hard. She helped me research. We were long distance, I could not have handled more. Over 1500 miles, I could nurse myself back to health. I did not have to face the reality of my limitations. I could eat alone, sleep long, not confront my utter lack of libido. She stayed, I moved to Boston and lived near her, and in the end I think we really hurt each other. She wanted me to be in love with her, and I was not.

while I was sick, I doubted my instincts. I was terrified that everything that meant something to me would be meaningless when I got well. I tried to think through things, and not trust my feelings. I thought my values, and preferences would change as I got well, that they reflected my illness and not me. But the illness is me. As I recovered, I was delighted to discover that the things that inspired me while sick, the things that intrigued me while ill, the things that I liked...They all grew as I got well.

As soon as I realized this, I realized that that girl was not right for me, and even though she was a good person, I wanted more. I broke things off with her. She said some really unpleasant things about me and my illness. I tried not to let them hurt because it was not the illness that bothered her, it was that I was not in love with her.

I recovered further. Little by little the pieces came back. I had energy and interest. I began to get hungry, like I wanted to upend the cup of life into me and drink deeply so as to fill the void left by those years. I also knew that all the hurt, and the disspoitnement, and the life lived on borrowed time was going to have to be answered. I was afraid of how long I could hold it together. But again...I was still on hold. "Wait, just wait," I told myself, "when you are well, you can move to San Diego, when you are well, you can travel again, when you are well..." Finally, it was time to step back out in the world.

I began with my first love, traveling. I went to CA to renew family relationships, and my friends. I could enjoy their company for the first time in years.

Oh, and there was W. I say W, both because that how I write her name, and I don't know how much she would appreciate begin talked about, but as long as we are talking about a letter....

There was W.

She was someone I met while I was sick. Very sick. Before I began treatment. I went with a friend to a dinner with her and two other girls. My head was ringing so badly I could not see my food, and my hand was crumpled into a fist under the table. But still, through that haze, I remember her like a splash of navy blue twighlight. She shook me then, but I knew that I had nothing in the tanks to pursue her. As you know, it was not even a sexual pursual, it would have been spiritual. If I had had the ability, I would have then and there sought to get close to her. But I knew if I had, I could not have held her.

She and I emailed for years. It was a good thing too. I needed the email in between us. I fell for her. I told myself that I could not trust my instincts, but only be patient and stay in her circle. We grew closer anyway. Soon it was obvious to me, at least, that we were flirting. I was still in the relationship that I mentioned earlier, and I honored that, but if I had been well, I would have trusted that you cannot feel that way about someone else if your relationship is right.

After my relationship ended, I debated moving. I knew if I moved that nothing could ever be between W and I, or would unlikely be, so I stayed. I prayed for my recovery to move quickly. I was getting well. The bad days I could weather. I was putting my life back together. She asked me to Istanbul. I went, and we spent a week together, and everything flowed. I knew something I have never known before and in fact thought I would never know: that it was her. She would be the last woman I would ever date. I told her about my illness, but I told her it was Wilson's disease. She had researched Wilson's disease, and it touched me she cared like that. That she had used her time to get to know how I felt, and what I was going through. Wilson's is actually very similar, and in fact, and that time, it was a possible factor.

She went back to K where she was fulfilling a [] contract, and our relationship went back to email. When she came out in September, I told her that what I had was Schizophrenia. I told her that I loved her. She told me she loved me. I was terrified that I would not have the libido to support physical intimacy with her, but she made my body ring.

For the enxt few months, I made it my business to tell her all. She had to know. I wanted her to know what she was getting into. I did not smooth things over. I told her the worst parts, and I shared with her the limits of my knowledge. I told her I could not know that I would fully recover. I told her that I might always be limited.

I was terrified that she would not be able to bear it all. I had no interest in not being honest and open with her about what was going on though. If she was to love me, she was going to have to love the illness, which was me too. I acknowledged daily that she might love me and leave me still. It was hard. I called her in the middle of suicidal depressions. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I knew that that might kill the respect she had for me, or that it might be too much for her. I hate being around people when I am feeling badly, and for years I hid. It would have been so easy to hide it from her. Instead I shared my darkest fears. In some ways, it was brutal to do it that way, but I would do it again that way. I feel like she had to know. I wrote her a 16 page essay on the illness. I sent her my histapenia file. I showed her my blog. When everything in my body said to close up, and to protect myself, and isolate myself, I forced myself to open up and share with her.

I remember nights crying because I thought I would lose her because I could not recover fast enough to keep her. I did reckless things with folic acid to try to speed the process up. You have just done your first reckless thing with folic acid for this girl. She will never fully appreciate what you just did, but I will for her.

As you know, being mentally ill, you get in the habit of not trusting your feelings. You tend to take other people's view points as valid, and subjugate your own. I mean, we are mentally ill right? Who are we to tell people that they have hurt us? I know as I got sick, my emotions got dialed up. I was hyper sensitive. I could read volumes in people's faces, yet the anxiety meant I often misinterpreted it. I guess that is the paranoia right? Taking responsibility for things that are not your fault?

Well, that was not the right thing to do. W knew she was in a relationship with a Sz. She knew that my emotions were out of control, and so was the anxiety. I trusted her to share it, and that I assumed that I had to be stronger than I was. I felt like I needed to swallow the fury that came with illness, and the fever that came with recovery. Yet it was so hard to distinguish things that were actually upsetting from those that were upsetting because I was sick.

It was too soon probably, but X, sometimes it is. What are you going to do. I tried to find a therapist to help me sort these things out, someone who would not say "M is that realistic? Is this about your family?", but rather someone who would say "M, that IS NOT realistic, but that is typical of SZs in recovery. Try to back off of that for a while. Tell her you need space" or "This is typical M, it passes. You just bite your lip and in a month, it will not even be a concern to you." or even "M, that is a very hard thing. You are not getting clear signals right now, but that is something even mentally well people need to deal with over time."

The libido is a concern. No doubt. Women say it doesn't matter, but you and I know it does. Not the sex, but the sexual intestine. The passive sonar of sexuality. Of being a man. It comes back. It will.

[].

Here are some hard things. Getting well does not make everything easy. The libido, it rebounds. It gets out of control. You will be worse than you were at 16. Then it will pass like a storm and you will be back. You need to talk to someone about getting well. Even if they have no background in Sz. Just someone you can talk to about the feelings that come surging up.

You might lose her. You cannot control that too much really. But X, if she is the one, and if you are like me, you will be grateful that she was a part of this. It matters to me so much that W saw this. It is such an important part of my life. She came with me to the PTC last time. If this is the one, you will want her to be there with you on this jounrey.

don't underestimate her. I was constantly amazed by W. The best thing was that I truly believed that if it were too much, she would have walked away and I believed that she was accepting without sugarcoating what I was telling her. If she is the one for you, and you for her, this is part of your journey. Its a little much, maybe, probably not the speech you thought you would be giving in your 20s, but it is what you have, and you can't change that, but you can make choices from here on out.

don't dump it on her all at once. I would say. I will ask W what she thinks I should have done better. I would think, get ot know this girl. Tell her you are sick. Do not use the Sz word right away. Its crude and inaccurate. Tell her about histapenia. Tell her most people recover in 8-12 months. But tell her when it is appropriate. Don't rush into the bedroom with someone you care about before you talk through a little of this. "


Anyway, this is not hard science. Its barely anecdote. These are X's thoughts and my choices and my memories and if they are helpful to you, then they are yours. If you too recovering, you will realize that life starts again pretty quickly, whether you are ready or not, and there are questions that are particular to your situation, and you might need to know that you are not the first person to walk those steps. So take what you will. Decide for yourself if I was right or wrong, or how you will proceed, but I assure you, no matter how awful you feel now, one day soon you will feel normal again. And if you are lucky, you will fall in love.

Detox

So I am learning about detoxification. It is a complex subject and I am only grappling at the surface. It has been my experience that I heal in cycles, worsening symptoms lead to improvements in health. It is as if my body is purging a toxin. I have tested and isolated every factor I could think of to moderate these down swings, to not avail, confirming, to me, that I am "clearing" something.

So why and I not detixifying adequately?

Well, the liver is the primary organ responsible for breaking down toxins. but what I am learning is that there are three phases of liver detoxification, and any one pahse working more quickly, or more slowly, than the other, causes problems. Phase one aggressively converts toxins into checmically reactive forms. Phase two metabilizes those forms and Phase three well, Phase three is excretion in bile. I think.

Phase I, is run, as best i can tell, on what are called cytochrome P450 enzymes, rather than the Phase II enzymes, which work much more slowly to detoxify substances. Some 50-100 enzymes make up the cytochrome P450 system. Each enzyme works best in detoxifying certain types of chemicals, but with considerable overlap in activity among the enzymes. THis is an intersting note I found:

Patients with underactive phase I detoxification will experience caffeine intolerance, intolerance to perfumes and other environmental chemicals, and an increased risk for liver disease, [editor note- my liver enzymes ar eusually elevated] while those with an overactive system will be relatively unaffected by caffeine drinks. One way of objectively determining the activity of phase I is to measure how efficiently a person detoxifies caffeine. Using this test, a surprising fivefold difference in the detoxification rates of apparently healthy adult has been discovered. Liver Detoxification

Are all you histapeniacs listening out there? Chemical sensitivites, intolerance to drugs, liver problems? It seems interesting doesn't it that this closely mirrors the Pfeiffer center's group characteristics for histapenia. histadelics, there is something there for you too...check it out "unaffected by caffeine". Yeah E, you know I am looking at you. Stuff is an elixer for her.

So lets suppose that histapenics are slow in phase one, and histadelics are fast.

By the way, most of this information is courtesy of wisewitch, who holds one of the best informed websites on the web regarding nutrition and human health. I cannot recommend it enough [read: she has forgotten more today than I have learned all together]. It takes a bit of courage on your part to wade in. If you are of the "I want to get better, but I hate chemistry" camp, you are not going to find easy predigested answers there. You will have to chew your own food. Still, if you want great and not just good, she is a prime resource. Be nice to her though, She is dumping hundreds of hours into her blog to help us for no pay.

http://wisewtich.blogspot.com

Ok, back to the liver Phase 1:

Subtances that promote Phase I detox:

Cytochrome P450 is induced by some toxins and by some foods and nutrients. However, stimulation of phase I is contraindicated if the patient's phase II systems are underactive.

• the brassica family, i.e. cabbage, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts, contains chemical constituents that stimulate both phase I and phase II detoxification enzymes. One such compound is indole-3-carbinol, which is also a powerful anti-cancer chemical. It is a very active stimulant of detoxifying enzymes in the gut as well as the liver. The net result is significant protection against several toxins, especially carcinogens. This helps to explain why consumption of cabbage family vegetables protects against cancer.
• Oranges and tangerines (as well as the seeds of caraway and dill) contain limonene, a phytochemical that has been found to prevent and even treat cancer in animal models.

Substances that activate Phase I detoxification:

• Drugs: alcohol; nicotine in cigarette smoke; Phenobarbital; sulfonamides; steroids
• Foods: cabbage, broccoli, and brussels sprouts; charcoal-broiled meats; high-protein diet; oranges and tangerines (but not grapefruits)
• Nutrients: niacin; vitamin B1; vitamin C
• Herbs: caraway and dill seeds
• Environmental toxins: carbon tetrachloride; exhaust fumes; paint fumes; dioxin; pesticides

"Substances that Inhibit phase I detoxification:
Drugs: benzodiazepines; antihistamines; cimetidine and other stomach-acid secretion blocking drugs; ketoconazole; sulfaphenazole
Foods: naringenin from grapefruit juice; curcumin from turmeric; capsaicin from chili pepper; eugenol from clove oil; quercetin from onions
Botanicals: curcuma longa (curcumin); capsicum frutescens (capsaicin); eugenia caryophyllus (eugenol); calendula officianalis
Other: aging; toxins from inappropriate bacteria in the intestines"

Histapeniacs? are you reading this? Antihistamines slow Phase one. Hmmmmm. class, anyone want to take a swing at this? Niacin? High protein diet? sound familiar?

"As someone who has problems getting to sleep and big problems
waking up in the mornings, I was interested to discover melatonin
is metabolised by this particular enzyme. " -WW

There it is again...another common characteristic of histapeniacs...the inability to awaken easily in the morning. Maybe this is becuase we are not metabolizing our lil' buddy melatonin. Hmmm.

Phase II detoxification (slower than phase one). The body's approches to a certain role, i.e. detoxification, are often called "pathways". This is important when reading about these subjects. It appears there are multiple ways to produce a given result and some are favored, and some are redundancies built in. There are essentially six phase II detoxification pathways:
Glutathione conjugation
· Amino acid conjugation
· Methylation
· Sulfation
· Acetylation
· Glucuronidation

Ok, I am gong out of a limb here. I am going to guess, becuase of Mythlation, that histapenics are ok with Phase two, perhaps too aggressive, but not phase one, and histadelics nail phase I, but then cannot get rid of the stuff in Phase two. This would explain a lot fo the skin problems I see on histadelics. I could be totally off here.

Nutrients needed by phase II detoxification enzymes
Glutathione conjugation: Glutathione, vitamin B6
Amino acid conjugation: Glycine
Methylation: S-adenosyl-methionine
Sulfation: Cysteine, methionine, molybdenum
Acetylation: Acetyl-CoA
Glucuronidation: Glucuronic acid

This is a bit mixed. of course histapeniacs, according to the PTC, are heavily methylated, but this is where I get confused. sit down for this, but college chemistry books tell us that you that to convert homocysteine to methionine, which then becomes SAMe and donates the dreaded (for histapeniacs) methyl groups, you need..folic acid and b-12. Somebody is screwed up here. I dont know who. but the fact is, my jury, made up regrettably of my peers, is out on that. Still, I note taht the PTC has prescribed Vit b6, and glyciene, and that Zn promotes glutathione.

Glutathione is available through two routes: diet and synthesis. Dietary
glutathione (found in fresh fruits and vegetables, cooked fish, and meat) is
absorbed well by the intestines and does not appear to be affected by the
digestive processes. Dietary glutathione in foods appears to be efficiently
absorbed into the blood. However, the same may not be true for glutathione
supplements.In healthy individuals, a daily dosage of 500 mg of vitamin C may be
sufficient to elevate and maintain good tissue glutathione levels.

Hmm, this is interesting...

Sulfation
Sulfation is the conjugation of toxins with sulfur-containing
compounds. The sulfation system is important for detoxifying several drugs, food
additives, and, especially, toxins from intestinal bacteria and the environment.
In addition to environmental toxins, sulfation is also used to detoxify some
normal body chemicals and is the main pathway for the elimination of steroid and
thyroid hormones. Since sulfation is also the primary route for the elimination
of neurotransmitters, dysfunction in this system may contribute to the
development of some nervous system disorders.

Sulfation was already on my list on "to learn about" since the PTC prescribed phenolic enymes, which break down phenols, which are ordinarly broken down by sulfates. Maybe I was too hasty in the "phase II ok for histapenics" conclusion. Still, methionine is needed for sulfation, and supposedly histapenics have a lot of that. I dont know.

Inducers of phase II detoxification enzymes
Glutathione conjugation: Brassica family foods (cabbage, broccoli, Brussels sprouts); limonene-containing foods (citrus peel, dill weed oil, caraway oil)
Amino acid conjugation: Glycine
Methylation: Lipotropic nutrients (choline, methionine, betaine, folic acid, vitamin B12)
Sulfation: Cysteine, methionine, taurine
Acetylation: None found
Glucuronidation: Fish oils, cigarette smoking, birth control pills, Phenobarbital, limonene-containing foods

Inhibitors of phase II detoxification enzymes
Glutathione conjugation: Selenium deficiency, vitamin B2 deficiency, glutathione deficiency, zinc deficiency
Amino acid conjugation: Low protein diet
Methylation: Folic acid or vitamin B12 deficiency
Sulfation: Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (e.g. aspirin), tartrazine (yellow food dye), molybdenum deficiency
Acetylation: Vitamin B2, B5, or C deficiency
Glucuronidation: Aspirin, probenecid

reads like a checklist of histapenic supplments, but do not taht ciggarettes, most favored by histadelics, induce phase II detoxification.

Pahse III is bile production. Bile. from the liver, stored in the gall bladder. Somehow I recall that Ceruplasmin is involved. I have to check that out.

Impairment of bile flow within the liver can be caused by a variety of
agents and conditions. These conditions are often associated with alterations of
liver function in laboratory tests (serum bilirubin, alkaline phosphatase, SGOT, LDH, GGTP, etc.) signifying cellular damage. However, relying on these tests alone to evaluate liver function is not adequate, since, in the initial or subclinical stages of many problems with liver function, laboratory values
remain normal. Among the symptoms people with enzymatic damage complain of
are: Fatigue; general malaise; digestive disturbances; allergies and chemical sensitivities; premenstrual syndrome; constipation.

Hmmmmmmmm. My PMS is fine, but that is interesting. AS noted above, my AST and SGOT are always slightly elevated, and my billirubin is high. If this researches leads to something, I want a refund from all the hospitals who have wasted my time on cr*p I could figure out. I am sick of funding thier student loan payments.

regrettably methionine is listed as the only supplment aiding in bile production, but I have to tell you that I am recently feeling like the methionine and methly cycle is more complex than the PTC is telling me. I dont know on that one.

So, who am I?

Dear readers,

The following is a special posting for you. A friend of mine, and a fellow sufferer, has been generous enough to share his story with you all. We will call him X. X because he could be anyone, becuase his story is no less great because we don't know who he is, because it is the story that we hope touches you, teaches you what it is like to be on the inside or lets you know you are not alone. X because even he does not yet know who he will become as he recovers.

It is hard for me to read this, to hear my story in another person's words. But I want to offer my heartfelt thanks to X for putting this into words. Whether this is a life raft to whcih one suffere clings during a sweat drenched night when every cell in his body is screaming for release, or a girl finds it and realizes that she is not incurable, or a parent reads this and finally makes the connection and can hug thier child and cry, he has already helped someone heal...me. So thanks X.

As always, fell free to respond with a comment, or take this away, or share it with someone who needs to read it.

and now...X:


"It is within the common culture of society to define Schizophrenia as a multiple personality disorder. This definition depicts images of the 'mad' cycling back and forth between two or more different 'selfs.' While for some this may be the case, for the majority (and in my personal experience) Schizophrenia does not simply divide the personality. SZ dulls the colors of reality, SC excavates the sould of a man, SZ siphens the body of life. SZ, in many ways, is death.

Six 1/2 years ago, I was alive. I read, I played, I laughed, and most importantly, I loved. I was you.

Six years ago, I died. My brain filled with a gray haze, my heart ceased to feel, and emotion became nothing more than a word. My passions turned into merely actions. My body moved in form, but inside there was no life.

So back to the question at hand, who am I? Once again, that question must be separated. Six 1/2 years ago, I was a celebrated high-school athlete; yes, the guy who was nailing the Prom Queen. Six years ago, I left for college, and uninvitedly, Schizophrenia became my permanent roommate. I continued along, attempting to hide and turn away from the reality that had become my reality. I joined a fraternity, drank beer by the bucketload, and kicked ass in the classroom. I excelled in all areas in which you might have seen me. I was the model student and fraternity brother. Inside my body, inside my brain, I was failing.

If you went to college with me, you would have never known. My best friends, guys who refer to me as "brother", still do not know. I might be at work with you right now, and you would not know. Hiding who I have become is perhaps what I do best.

Life without love, life without feeling is Hell. To go to Hell, one must die. Six years ago, I died. Three weeks ago, I went to the Pfeiffer Treatment Center in Chicago. I await my results. If you have ever wondered whether the dead can truly rise, I guess we will find out together.....

X "

Not so far down

Well, the storms have passed, but I am making that commitment to this blog, to leave a papertrail, and a record, for future generations of recoverers on the orthomolecular train.

Friday mornign I woke up with my hand curled into a claw, and my foot spasmatically twitching. It tapped out on the couch while I stared at it. I knew that something was brewing. Later that day, when I took my morning shvelful of vitamins, I had that residual dead head that portends a downturn. That evening was rough too, and about 8pm it occured to me that I had not [***TMI alert***] cleared my bowels in 2 days. It was going ot be bad.

Saterday morning, I work eith blunted emotions. My mind was feeling trapped, again. by about 1 I felt the room swaying, though I was not mioving, and my humor was low, and malaise high. I went to the Berkshires with friends becuase if I stayed in when I felt unwell, I would not go out. It got worse throughout that day. By 8 that night, I was just flaling in the current, swept along by other people and hoping it would end. In the darkenss in a theater, I let myself start to feel badly for myself. At dinner, my stomach felt like I had been eating glass. It swelled like a peach with the meal. I was naseaus, and not hungry at all. There were strong signals to eat nothing.

I got to my room, and fell asleep with my clothes on. Sunday was not much better. I flight of stairs winded me. I was meotionally gone, flat, confused, awkward. my balance gone. my mind flat and gnurled into knuckles of thoughts. By about 3 I began to clear. I got home and used th toilet. This always proceeeds a clearing. By that night I felt good, and by bed time I felt like it hadn't happened.

If all holds according to patterns, I will feel not just better today, but better than I have since I got ill. This has always been the way. This is one reason why I use the Sz diagnosis so taht people can understand, or at least appreciate, what I am going through, but I acknwledge that this is only part of the illness process. I have some of the pieces, but only some of them. I am getting better, but the PTC by no way uinderstands it all. I feel like there is something toxic getting lceared out by my system. It exacerabtes all the Sz symptoms. It feels like death coming out and then I feel better. I hate it. I do. another beautiful weekend lost. Shit

Well, so thats it. Thats how I spent my weekend. How was yours?

The role of Histamine.

Chemically, histamine is 2-(4-imidazolyl)ethylamine and has the formula C5H9N3. Histamine is derived from the decarboxylation of the amino acid histidine, a reaction catalyzed by the enzyme L-histidine decarboxylase. It is a hydrophilic vasoactive amine (thus the name). Once formed, histamine is either stored or rapidly inactivated. Histamine is broken down by histamine-N-methyltransferase and diamine oxidase, and is also possibly taken up by a transporter. Some forms of food poisoning are due to conversion of histidine into histamine in spoiled foodstuffs, such as fish.
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Storage and release
Most tissue histamine is found in granules in mast cells or basophils. Mast cells are especially numerous at sites of potential injury - the nose, mouth, and feet; internal body surfaces; and blood vessels. Non-mast cell histamine is found in several tissues, including the brain, where it functions as a neurotransmitter. Another important site of histamine storage and release is the enterochromaffin-like (ECL)cell of the stomach.
The most important pathophysiologic mechanism of mast cell and basophil histamine release is immunologic. These cells, if sensitized by IgE antibodies attached to their membranes, degranulate when exposed to the appropriate antigen. Certain amines, including drugs such as morphine and tubocurarine, can displace histamine in granules and cause its release.
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Mechanism of action
Histamine exerts its actions by combining with specific cellular receptors located on cells. The four histamine receptors that have been discovered are designated H1 through H4.
H1 histamine receptor - found on smooth muscle, endothelium, and central nervous system tissue; causes vasodilation, bronchoconstriction, smooth muscle activation, and separation of endothelial cells (responsible for hives), and pain and itching due to insect stings; the primary receptors involved in allergic rhinitis symptoms and motion sickness
H2 histamine receptor - located on parietal cells, which primarily regulate gastric acid secretion
H3 histamine receptor - decreased neurotransmitter release: histamine, acetylcholine, norepinephrine, serotonin
H4 histamine receptor - unknown physiological role. Found primarily in the thymus, small intestine, spleen, and colon. It is also found on basophils and in the bone marrow.
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Sleep regulation
Histamine is released as a neurotransmitter. The cell bodies of neurons which release histamine are found in the posterior hypothalamus, in various tuberomammillary nuclei. From here, these histaminergic neurons project throughout the brain, to the cortex through the medial forebrain bundle. Histaminergic action is known to modulate sleep. Classically, antihistamines (H1 histamine receptor antagonists) produce sleep. Likewise, destruction of histamine releasing neurons, or inhibition of histamine synthesis leads to an inability to maintain vigilance. Finally, H3 receptor antagonists (which stimulate histamine release) increase wakefulness.
It has been shown that histaminergic cells have the most wakefulness-related firing pattern of any neuronal type thus far recorded. They fire rapidly during waking, fire more slowly during periods of relaxation/tiredness and completely stop firing during REM and non-REM sleep. Histaminergic cells can be recorded firing just before an animal shows signs of waking.
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Histamine disorder effects
Histapenia (deficiency of histamine) and histadelia (abundance of histamine) can cause both neurological and physical disorders. Histapenia may be caused by excess copper levels, as this decreases blood histamine.
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Sexual response
Research has shown that histamine is released as part of the human orgasm from mast cells in the genitals, and the histamine release has been connected to the sex flush among women. If this response is lacking while a woman also has trouble achieving orgasm, this may be a sign of histapenia. In such cases, a doctor may prescribe diet supplements with folic acid and niacin (which used in conjunction can increase blood histamine levels and histamine release), or L-histidine. Conversely, men with high histamine levels may suffer from premature ejaculations.
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Schizophrenia
It has been found that about half the patients classified as suffering from schizophrenia have low histamine levels in the blood. This may be because of antipsychotics that have unwanted effect on histamine, such as Quetiapine. Although, in these cases, as histamine levels were increased, their health improved.
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Other effects
Histapenia (histamine deficiency)
mouth ulcers, headaches or allergies, heavy body hair growth, ideas of grandeur, undue suspicion of people, racing thoughts, the feeling of being controlled, ringing in the ears, and hearing/seeing things abnormally.
Histadelia (histamine abundance)
hyperactivity, obsessive-compulsive disorders, inner tensions, mind blanks, phobias, chronic depression, suicidal tendencies, pain intolerance, rapid metabolism, lean build, profuse sweating, seasonal allergies, frequent common colds.

L-histidine, with adequate B-3 and B-6 is the precusor to histamine. The amino acid l-histidine is a histamine precursor that acts as a copper, iron, nickel, and zinc chelator and improves digestion. It acts as an inhibitory neurotransmitter that increases alpha wave activity, taming excessive beta wave activity (it's calming), lowers blood pressure, boosts T cell activity, and fights rheumatoid arthritis. Histamine is the brain's pacemaker, and H3 receptors modulate serotonin and dopamine as well as increasing oxytocin. It increases activity in large brain areas.

Its important folks. Very, I suppose. and this gives you some of an idea of what it does. Just imagine though what too much, or too little can do, and you have a little bit of a view of what my world was like.