Healing 101

This morning I woke up and it felt as if I had turned thec lock back. Back to beign a boy, or at least a young man. Sometimes the healing is like that, like an old friend regained, like turning back a clock. It seems so familiar in ways, and sometimes, like this morning, that familiarity overwhelms me. Like getting a beloved grandparent, long dead, back. THere were just some parts of me that had moved on.

This has been the case lately. I noticed in my work lately that my mind works again. Not always as well as I would like it to, but as well as it should. And there is a difference. And each one of you knows where that is, even if you do not know that you do.

I spent years looking forward to each heap of pills, each tiny step forward towards regaining my health. That is fading fast. I take the pills, morning and night, and carry them wherever I go, but they no longer carry just hope. I am, more or less, well.

How long did it take? The PTC will tell you that recovery begins in 2-4 weeks for h'penics, and 4-8 weeks for h'delic, and concludes, respectively, in 4-8 months. Horsehit. Never seen anyone heal that fast. First of all, it takes a while for the PTC or for anyone, to find what is wrong. Then, there are usually underlying problems that frustrate absorbtion.

Abram Hoffer estimated half the time you were sick. This is more realistic. That for me, that time meant 27 months, concluding...January of this year. And that estimate is about right on schedule.

Well, I feel like I should have a better understnading of what I am taking and why, so bear with me, while I take a few days/weeks to break down my appraoch to recovery.

I have found that there seem to be three componenets to being a human being. They are not seperate in any measure, but, since they can be out of balance and make one feel terrible, I think it is reasonable to consider them seperately for sake of discussion.

There is a physical, mental, and spiritual component to everyone. They not only overlap, but they are really the same thing. Just as I have a hard time believing that anyone who does not engage in some sort of dedicated physical play is well educated, I have yet to find someone who was not spitiually engaged who moved beautifully. Sometimes there are people who focus on but one aspect- businessmen locked in thier heads, athletes who waste away concentrating only on thier sports, Aesthetes who wander without impact on their world.

Being ill impacts all three of these. I will stop talking in generalities: Sz impacts all three realms. To heal completely, you will need to heal all three areas.

When I was very sick, an aquaintence of mine, whom I met through our similar illnesses (She had Krone's), convinced me to try an experiment. She asserted that our bodies had a certain innate wisdom, and that we could tap into this. She asked me to trust this, and to take 7 pieces of paper and lay them bedside. Each morning for a week, I was, upon wakening, to draw the first thing that came to mind. Very well.

In the beggini of that week, I drew a jumble of contorted images, wavy lines and circles. Nonesense really. later I covered an entire page with the word "please". I dolored in one whole back in black, with only the sun crepping out beneath it. There were images of a bed, a clock, and a plate of eggs.

Now, one could use these to cover the dining room table, or to mop up cat piss, and the world would have lost nothing, but I showed these to D and she responded that "that is your roadmap to health". Hmmm. At the time it seemed a little unbelieveable, but today, I dont know how off she was. I was lost at first, I looked everywhere for help, once found, it still took time, rest and proper nutrition to get better. I wonder what would have happened had I drawn mickey mouse?

More later....