rest in peace

There was a time in my life, not too long ago, when I wonderd every minute how I was going to survive another 60 years of life like that. The truth was, I could not see how it was possible, every day a rollercoaster of horrors. I persevered because I had faith I would get better. Later, that faith was ripped away, shredded and and ridiculed by the illness. Then I persevered because of momentum. Finally that momentum faded, and I perservered because the first and primary function of every life form is to live, and it was too ancient and too strong an impetus to ignore. But each cell of my body begged for release.

I did get better, but not everyone does. A, a young man, my age actually, and a companion in our illness succumbed recently. He was buried and is morned by his parents. I never knew him, only of him, but still, I feel comraderie, and understanding. If you have not been there, you cannot understand this, so I say it to A: I know you are peaceful now. You are free. Congratulations. I will see you soon, but not as soon as I had once thought. Goodbye and I am sorry you got such a bad hand dealt to you. You did nothing to deserve it.

Say a prayer if you will.