Vacation

I am on vacation, in nicaragua. this seems pretty unremarkable until you realize how far I have come. For years, I did not vacation, beacause of fear, but here i am, 8 weeks gone, and still feeling, shall we say, normal?

I did, however, make the cardinal error of forgetting to bring enough pills. I know from experience that going without them is disasterous, but, fortunately, I have found zinc, in Rivas, and a friend is finding folic acid for me in Costa Rica, where I will be in a few days. I have juuuuust enought to stretch it out.

So here I am, pretty normal feeling, with only a few setbacks since I got here. Thats it. Can you imagine?

I have been surfing, and drinking, not heavily, but still, smoking the occasional cigar, eating the local food, hiking, etc, in short, all those things on the no list for so many years. Its an amazing feeling.

I am reminded from time to time that the symtpoms began about 10 years ago. I am reminded that it was a trip to Costa Rica about 9 years ago that encouraged me to believe thatI could recover. Still, I spent most of that trip mananging symptoms, and most of this trip surfing huge waves, watching tutles give birth, cooking dinner on the beach, walking home along empty sand in the moonlight, dancing with locals, laughing in a hammock, and hiking valcanoes. If I believed in fate, I would believe that I deserve this. But I dont, so I just enjoy it and fight hard to take nothing for granted.