On a lighter note

Some of you have been kind or curious enough to ask me how I am doing since my latest spate of doomsday emails. The short of it is that I did face a rough period, but it was easier than any before it, and certainly easier than I had anticipated, and I am fine. Better than fine really. We all have an oppurtunity to recognize our improvements when we have an irregaular event to measure against. In this case, I went sailing. I had not done that since last september, so it was a useful measuring stick to compare against. I recognized that I felt better out there on the water than I ever did the previous fall, and therefore, I am still making regular progress.

For something a little lighter, I am going to excerpt a blog that I follow. It is written by a former UCI professor, whose views on politics I do not follow, but whose critical intellectual rigor I admire. I would prefer, I think to read someone with whom I disagree, but who is applies logic and research to his analysis, than someone with whom I tend to agree who is intellectually lazy.

That said, he has an interesting unifying theory on physical fitness and diet that are persuasive. Here he is reacting to a recent study demonstrating that "Dieters" eventually regain the weight and establish new, higher, set points for body weight. His point is that diets are the wrong approach, that living life in a manner condusive to health, one that is full of high nutrition foods, regular intense excersize, occasional strong stressors, and play, will get the body to a place of equilibrium. I like the simplicity:

So, what do you do?
1. Increase your insulin sensitivity and muscle mass through exercise, intermittent fasting of brief duration, avoiding fructose and glucose-laden and starchy foods (rice, beans, potatos, pasta, etc), eating only fresh vegetables and fruits, nuts, and seafood, chicken, and lean meats.
2. Brief, intermittent activities that are challenging and fun along with a bit of intense (for you) muscle building exercise are all the excercise you need. Forget dull and damaging aerobics, but exercise at a high enough pace to gain aerobic fitness. Most of all play at exercise; don't do these serious, highly repetitive things like golf (I find it is hard to "play" at golf) or jogging.
3. The more fun you have outdoors, the leaner you will be. And, get some sunlight every day, just a bit.

Adrenals again

The adrenal glands, and underlying adrenal insufficiency are of great interest to me at the moment. Here is something interesting:

The adrenal glands, located above the kidney, often become 'exhausted' as a result of the constant demands placed upon them. An individual with adrenal exhaustion will usually suffer from chronic fatigue, may complain of feeling stressed-out or anxious, and will typically have a reduced resistance to allergies and infection.
The adrenal glands secrete several important hormones that help maintain the balance of many body functions. Stress, fasting, temperature changes, infections, drugs, and exercise all stimulate the adrenals to release their hormones. When the adrenals release too few or too many hormones, the body responds differently to the everyday stresses of life.The adrenal cortex is involved in the production of glucocorticoids (such as cortisol i.e. hydrocortisone), mineralocorticoids (aldosterone) and androgens such as androstenedione and DHEA. A mild to moderate adrenocortical deficiency can substantially reduce your quality of life, yet this condition is not recognized by most doctors, who only think of the adrenal gland's condition as being at either extreme - normal or in overt failure (Addison's disease).Treatment & PreventionFor those concerned about taking a hormone (cortisol) - perhaps for life - a more natural approach to strengthening the adrenal gland can be tried. This may include vitamin C, PABA, adrenal glandulars, ACE (Adreno-Cortico-Extracts) injections, licorice root, ginsengs, TMG (tri-methyl-glycine) and DHEA among other possibilities.

I find this interesting because of the DHEA recommendation, and the B-5 recommendation. I could tolerate niether at first, and may not be able to even now. paothenic acid make me swimmy and gave me the runs. This, it has been my experience, sometimes happens with severe deficiencies.

And here, I find that many, many of the symptoms are consistent with my condition over the years.


Lab Values - Common
Low systolic blood pressure Low diastolic blood pressure
Symptoms - Allergy
Allergies to certain foods
Symptoms - Environment
Poor tolerance of cold Poor tolerance of heat
Symptoms - Food - Beverages
Constant/frequent thirst
Symptoms - Food - General
Weak appetiteCounter-indicators: Normal eating frequency
Symptoms - Food - Preferences
Sugar/sweet craving Craving for salt
Symptoms - Gas-Int - General
Meal-related bloating
Symptoms - General
Fatigue that worsens during the day Chronic fatigue for over 3 months Constant fatigue Fatigue induced by light exertion Dizziness when standing up
Symptoms - Head - Eyes/Ocular
Vision disturbances (High) sensitivity to bright light
Symptoms - Head - Nose
Allergic rhinitis
Symptoms - Immune System
History of infections Postviral syndrome
Symptoms - Metabolic
Low energy/stamina Low body temperature Frequent colds/flus Being severely affected by flus
Symptoms - Mind - Emotional
Adverse reaction to stress Inability to work under pressure Occasional/frequent emotional exhaustion
Symptoms - Muscular
Tender muscles
Symptoms - Respiratory
Frequent/occasional/regular sore throats
Symptoms - Skin - Conditions
Acne worse during period History of adult acne
Symptoms - Skin - General
Darker/redder skin color Diminished perspiration Red palms/fingertips
Symptoms - Sleep
Counter-indicators: Being a deep sleeper


Well, there are those, ok, there is me, who might describe my journal into unwellness as a depletion of adrenal sufficiency. This would, naturally, lead to copper/zinc imbalance, and furhter comprimise digestion etc. It is hard to know which one came first. Fact is, preceding illness came a prolonged period of over exertion (7-9 hours working out a day playing college ball), then severe calorie restriction and vegetarianism (Fat free was all the rage back in that day and I am nothing if not dedicated). The two together cover a 6 year period. I wonder to what degree my adrenal glands just packed it in. Its a more complex picture than that, and it must, I believe, be seen holistically, but even holistic pictures must be broken down and analyyzed in workable piecses. This is one such piece.

Hey anonymous

Recently ananymous posted this in the comment section. I am going to reply to it here:

I am glad I found this site. It is very helpful. I can relate to your
problem. I have bipolar disorder(not sure if it is I or II) and
schizophrenic tendencies(not sure if it is full on schizophrenia or
schizo-affective bipolar type).I need to ask my practitioner my exact
diagnosis. I take Depakote ER 500 mg tablets (1000 mgs at night) and Geodon
60 mg also at night. Then in the morning I take another Geodon 60 mg. The
medication works and keeps me out of the mental hospital. However, the biggest complaint I have is the side effect. Super low libido, shrinking johnson, and if i had to assign a percentage, I would say 75% Erectile dysfunction. I have called Pfeiffer Treatment Center and they said they really don't offer much in the way of help with this side effect.
I am reluctant to say I am satisfied with my medicine, but it works. I just want
to get the sexual dysfunction to go away. I am hoping that continually
decreasing the meds will help restore me to pre-drug levels. What is your
opinion? Once again thanks and any feedback is appreciated!

Ok, let me try to tackle this one. Honestly, I do not have expereince with anti-psych meds, but I know some of my readers do, and I hope that they will chime in here after I meatball this answer. Its a problem for a lot of people, and could have been one for me if, ironically, doctors had taken me more seriously.

depokate is an anti-convulscent. I dont know if doctors care really. It is my experience that they just give you medications, and if you respond favorably, oh goodie. Reminds me of that old Steve Martin Barbar skit: "years ago, we would have thought your stomach pain caused by a toad in your stomach, but today, thanks to modern medicine, we know it is a small dwarf in your intestine." Depokate is also, probably, when where the ED comes. It is a listed major side effect. This is important as it may be that this is the medication you need to focus on descreasing, or replacing with something else.

Caveat: dont do any of these without a doctor. I bet you know taht one. But the fact is that some meds, such as Geodon as I will discuss below, if quit, can really harm you. I dont know if Depokate is one of them. I only learned about it today.

Geodone, from what I understand, is considered a very mild anti-psychotic. It is, however, highly toxic. Furthermore, some people speculate that once it is begun, it cannot be quit. Long story. I hope that M, C's knowledgable mother, can lend us some knowedge on the subject. She is a pro. She is also, probably, wrapping up the school year, so we might have to wait.

My advice is pretty easy---people, like the PTC, who treat with orthomolecular nutrition, are addressing chemical imbalnces, just like the geodon. The PTC speculates that nutrients, which are already present in the body, are less dnagerous and more effective than pharmaceutical grade drugs. They often find that people can reduce, or quit, medications that were initially needed to treat a condition such as bi-polar, or schizoaffective disorder. This is potentially very useful to you if you choose to follow it up. I know C has reduced from 100 mg geodon a day to 20, or maybe now he is at 10. If you could find something that worked better than the Depokate, then your erectile disfunction, and associated johnson shrinking, might be easily reversed. Notice the words Might and Could. I dont know. But my experience with the PTC, and the experience of E, X, and C, have all been very good. I dont know anyone who has not seen thier health improve marketdly.


At the end, I have a question...have you ever tried Cialis or Viagra or similar. I am not recommending that you do. I dont know anything about them. I ask because in animal research, these drugs were found to make animals brains function better. People have speculated they might, in different forms, be interesting to study re schizophrenia and such. I dont know, but if you did get desperate and tried them, then I would be interested if they impacted your condition.

Glad you are enjoying the site. Keep in touch. let me know what you do and how you do.

activated charcoal

The PTC once told me to take activated charcoal when celaring symptoms got too bad. I take it, from time to time. I dont know that it helps. Perhaps it does, or perhaps it just gives me headaches.

I am expecting a wall soon. I can feel these building. There is nothing that I can do to stop them, however, and bracing for impact only makes you depressed that you have to.

Impact in 10...9...8...7...6...

Weird things

Healing can be a perplexing puzzle. Someonetimes one feels better when they heal, sometimes, until health is achieved, one feels worse.

Recently I vacationed in Costa Rica. During that time, I felt great, for the most part, slept deeply, and was energetic, optimistic, and focused, or at least without the great usual cacophany of symptoms that I regularly deal with. It wasn't exaclty ballons and strippers, but it was certainly a goed feeling. I ate many small protien meals a day, and ate with W in restaruants at night. I surfed a great deal.

But, as these things seem to happen, the step forward was met with two backwards. I was knocked flat within days of returning. My symptoms seemed to return, and I have been in a bit of a brain fog since then. The hypoglycemia seemed all but totally out of control (needing to eat every 2 hours, and even then, my guts felt like they were inflammed all day long). My, and this is going to get a little personal, constipation returned. Not square one mind you, but not the square I was on.

What happened?

Well, I had a theory. When I was in Costa Rica, I was high energy, eating a lot, drinking coffee and generally just going until I fell down. My body found the resources to do this, but on my return, there were bills to pay. If you have read this, or even if you have not, you might recall a rough unifying theory behind my recovery. One of the driving pillars of this is a zinc copper imbalance, which lead to compromised digestion, gut flora imbalances, and adrenal burnout, to name a few.

My adrenal glands used to be so low that even climbing a single set of stairs left me winded. I would get to the top and need to lie down. They would ache. Adrenal glands are necessary to regulate blood sugar. My blood sugar was then worse than now. Once it dropped so low I passed out on a street in NYC.

My adrenal glands are a favorite pastime of mine. I feed them relaxation, and nutrients, and await their revitalization. This is the reason I began meditation, then auto-hypnosis, now more traditional transcendentalism.

So last week, with mom in town, and late bedtimes and lots of stress, perhaps the adrenal glands were just comprimised.

But there is more. In fact, an interesting development. It pains to to tell you that as a 31 year old, I find my own bodily functions interesting in this regard, but I am far past embarrassment now. I can speak about bodily fluids and processes with a vigor only a senior citizen can muster.

So I went, with W, to Newport this weekend. We took a hotel room and we saw the town. we went out to eat dinner at restaurants. On Sunday night, I ate desert. I never do. I do not even like sweet things. But that night, I decided to eat it. And I decided to eat a lot of it. Imagine my surprise when the next day, my hypoglycemia did not kick in until 5, and even then mildly, and even then, it was easy to get out of it. Why would that be.

I am currently reading an article on Copper and Zinc in the most recent issue of the Weston A Price foundation's quarterly circular. The author reaches the same conclusion as I have in the past when I have noticed that after a night of "breaking the rules" and eating sugar, I feel better: that the flora die off is halted when the gut yeasts are fed sugar, and for a short time, I feel better while the flora is not receding. I guess the major flaw in this theory has always been the time line, in my case 8 years, but the author's experience with returning die off is much longer than mine, and while she may not be right, she makes a convincing case.

So, for the time being, I will eat cleanly, and note whether the symptoms return witha vengeance, as I suspect they will, in a few days.

Hope you are all well.

Mea culpa

I have been gone a while havn't I? Well, I am still here, still frustrated, still piecing together health.

These days, my principal focus in this nagging and persistent hypoglycemia. For those of you who follow this and do notknow what hypoglycemia is...well, I recommend a brief search. Shortly, it is low blood sugar. When the glucose levels in the blood drop below a certain level, organs, such as the brain, are starved for nourishment. WHy this happens and what to do about it are the subject of volumous, and contradictory, authorities. I will not go into it here, though I should.

Ok, yes I will...

Hypoglycemia involves the entire glandular system, not just the pancreas. The hypothalamus, pituitary, thyroid, liver and adrenals form the rest of the orchestra which plays out the blood sugar story. The thyroid gland controls the rate at which the blood sugar is burned. The pancreas controls the blood sugar level by secretion of insulin or glucagon. When the pancreas oversecretes insulin in response to consumption of refined carbohydrates, the adrenals produce adrenalin. This stimulates the liver to break down glycogen to compensate for the low blood sugar levels. Repeated adrenalin secretion eventually exhausts the adrenals, rendering them unable to play their part in the symphony. The blood sugar drops are consistent with endocrinal drops, that is, not adrenal:
headaches,
low blood pressure,
confusion,
disorientation,
nausea,
cold hands and feet
lethergy
anger

Its not pretty, and it happens all through the day.

I have added chomium picolinate to my many, many, (many) supplements, and am becoming more consistent with my magnesium supplementation. I am eating every 2 or 3 hours, but that does not seem to help much. Its still a rollercoaster, and it makes my guts hurt all day long.

I am frustrated.

My doctor has found me an endocrinologist to work with...in may. may 10th. A month after I saw her for the refferal. This is not her fault, but this is my frustrations with doctors and medicine. Still, I have been so very patient before, that I can be more patient now.

I am supprised that I am just never hungry. I eat, and eat a lot, but I am seldom hungry at all. Eating all day makes food all the more repulsive to me. I hate how food and pills have become a centerpoint for my life.

I feel like an invalid. No, I am not constrained to a bed, but largely my life is organized with my illness and my associated limitations in mind. This embrasses me. It makes me want to push people away. I know they know. On evenings where things are not falling apart, people will comment how fun I was. I hate this. It makes me feel worse. When I am feeling badly, people must notice this too. I do. I don't feel like I have acess to being me. I feel like I am siting on the sidewalk, getting older, watching the parade pass by.

I don't really know what I think will happen anymore. Will my body just get better bit by bit? Is this as good as it gets? I suspect that it is. It makes me feel like running far away from anyone I ever knew and being alone where I am not dragging people down. It makes me want to be invisible, to live my life in the shadows of existence, to hide away from the light, and from the inevitable disspointment.

I have lost, I feel, the art of enjoyment. I am getting better, every day, at suffering. I am forgetting how to live without this thing in the middle of every heartbeat.

What is really great, is that I get to do this dance for another 40 years. This sucks.


Now, caveat time: I am in a poor me mood. By the time I send this, it might have dissapated. I am, largely fine, but I hate the looks of pity I get. I hate that when the people who know what is going on inside think I am being difficult, they all think---Michael just needs to eat...or take a pill, or _____. Its never me they see. I am not even free to be an asshole. I feel pitied, and I hate that.

Largely things are better. Better and better. Sunshine and strippers and midgets and ballons people. I promise. But I still feel...shattered. Does everyone feel this way? Psychologists tell me they do. They imply that I am waiting to feel a way other people never feel. They are wrong though. They have no idea. I know normal. I know what it feels like. I know I can cry and be bored, and fail, and forget, and get lost while I feel normal. It is not supernormal for which I seek, just a day where my pains are under my control a little more.

Well folks...thats all I have for now. Maybe more on Hypoglycemia later. I know you have your own woes. Thanks for listening to mine.


PS- h'delics. I officially hate you all. Twice now friends of mine have gone to the Pfieffer center, improved rapidly, and then stopped using the supplements because....well, no reason. I wish it were that easy for me. You are ungrateful-and I hate you. Just thought you should know.